I’m taking a minute to talk about a well known joy stealer. Im sure you’ve heard the old saying, “Comparison is the thief of joy”. My mama just got done telling me, “Don’t compare your life to others, it’s different.” She is always full of snippets of good advice–and the fact is she’s absolutely right! She always is.
While it was on my mind I thought I would share these 3 ‘easy’ steps to kill comparison and take back your joy.
Step 1- Admit & Identify
You know the other old saying?
“The first step to solving a problem, is admitting you have one.”
Let me first rewind and tell you that I am in no way an expert. I have these feelings often. I’m admitting it. However, since starting my journey with Young Living and a new found leadership role. A role I never thought I would hold–I’ve learned A LOT along the way, and how comparison can dull your shine and slow or stop your success. It’s easy to look at anyone that we perceive as doing better as better than us. Which is clearly a big fat lie we tell ourselves.
Here’s several different ways we can get in our own comparison collision.
-They did it faster?
-They make more money?
-They have more stuff?
-They have it bigger?
-They have it better?
-They are smarter?
-They have more time?
The list goes on and on. And on and on.
Does this sound familiar?
Once this crazy comparison train starts, it’s hard to stop it. I totally get it.
So first I learn to identify when I start having those thoughts & feelings and second I admit that I am.
It’s okay. Comparison has been going on since forever. Long before social media began & brought it right to our finger tips. The only difference is that now it’s relentless because of it. At almost every turn we are bombarded with reasons to compare. We have to find a way to adapt to it.
Again, I admit and identify (to myself first) that I’m feeling inadequate, then I try to immediately squash it with—
Step 2- Gratitude
The best way to stop comparison is to take a look around and start counting all the people and things to be grateful for. If possible, write it down immediately. I even bought myself a specific journal just to jot it down. It’s an actual thing and I love it. Google it and get yourself one!#gratitudejournal If you so choose, using YL Gratitude essential oil is another sure proof way to stop it in its tracks. Using these tools together is a powerhouse!
Of course this isn’t always going to be that simple. Life is complicated and as we already identified, the reasons to compare are constantly in our faces. Just keep counting those blessings. They far exceed the negatives.
Take a minute right now and do it! It costs nothing. Fortunately the benefits of gratitude are many. It will change your life!
When you are done perfecting this step, it’s a good time to move on to the next. FYI-We will never perfect it, but we can certainly keep trying. 😬
Step 3- Inspiration
Remember all those negative feelings from step one? Many of them may even involve people that you care about. What I decided to do after going through the first two steps is to be inspired by them. Stop ✋🏼 those feelings of inadequacy and be inspired by what that person or people are doing. While also remembering that we are all unique. Jane may be great at one thing, while Cindy is better at another. Utilize their strengths and be inspired!
SPOILER ALERT! You too have unique & amazing qualities & abilities. Let’s work this out together and inspire each other!!
I know it’s much easier to sit around and grumble about how so and so has this or does that, but turning it on it’s head and making it a positive will give you far greater success. Trust me, I’ve seen it first hand!
The lines between comparison and inspiration are very blurry, so I’m throwing in a bonus step to clear it up.
Step 4- Practice
Since my life is basically a series of inspirational quotes, here’s another that’s oh so true and has been proven many times to work–
“Practice makes perfect!”
If you actually decide that any of what I said here is useful, and want to give it a whirl, just know that there will be failure along the way. I still find myself back at step one often. The only way I’ve gotten better at it is by practicing. Day in and day out. Sometimes moment to moment. I promise this process will not harm you. Only help.
And although I don’t condone stealing or killing, you will thank yourself later for killing comparison and stealing your joy back. Go do it now! 😊